Friday, November 23, 2007

On Kamala Suraiya's conversion

Varsha Bhosle
We feel that it is an incumbent duty of Intellectuals like us to announce to the world via the Press, our private decisions concerning our personal life. Hear ye, hear ye: We have resolved to embrace the great religion called Islam because our freedom had become frayed at the edges. We have outgrown the desire for freedom. Hinduism is too lenient for us; there is simply too much freedom... Naturally, Hindu fundamentalists are crying for our blue blood. But so are the, er... remarkably devout sections of our future co-religionists. They denounce us as a Hindu mole! We simply fail to understand! What have we said that can be construed as shedding a poor light on Islam, we ask you?!
We Intellectuals tend to come full circle: When Hagar was cast out by her husband Abram and his first wife Sarai (later christened by God as Abraham and Sarah, respectively), and was languishing in the middle of the desert, the angel of the Lord said unto her, "Behold, thou art with child and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael... And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him; and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren" (Genesis 16:1-16). And, lo, Ishmael was fruitful and begat twelve princes, who begat twenty-one tribes, which multiplied into the Arab nation, the soil for our beloved Islam.
You see, we, too, were abandoned by Lord Krishna (to whom, our grandma told us when we were a twee princess, we were married) and the other 30 million Hindu gods who are presently too busy to regulate and discipline our life and protect us. It was because of these entities that we sent shockwaves through strait-laced India with our erotic works; under their influence we became the controversial rebel who exploded hypocrisies. And so we are left with no choice but to augment the augury on Ishmael: We are a wild personage, and we shall dwell here, and we shall speak frankly and fearlessly about the religion we were accidentally born into, and our hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against us. (Figuratively! You have a filthy mind!) If Allah is merciful, we will also be fruitful and beget many tribes (which we will keenly monitor, just in case they show a propensity for Buddhism).
These fundamentalists are mad at us for revealing to an interviewer that we are converting Lord Krishna, our former intimate friend and love, to Allah, as well as making him a prophet after naming him "Mohammed." They are threatening us with death. We do not see what this fuss is all about! For, as you know, "Brahma" is just a distortion of "Abraham," and Sarah is really Saraswati, and the ten thousand cows in the Vedas actually refer to the ten thousand saintly companions of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). As far as we're concerned, God is an abstract entity. Even so, that will not prevent us from visiting Mecca and embracing the soil of Madina asap. You see, towns and soil are also abstract entities.
In any case, we don't give a rat's ass about these fundamentalists. We have been getting calls from almost all the Muslim countries extending their support to us; many have invited us to visit their countries. Our announcement has greatly enthused the Muslim community in our state. And their enthusiasm enthused us so much that we promptly informed UNI about the welcome-to-the-fold telegram from Abdul Nasir Mahdani, founder of the Islamic Sewak Sangh, temporarily residing at Salem Central Jail, framed under various sections of the IPC, including 153 (a) spreading communal hatred, 120 (b) criminal conspiracy, 124 (a) sedition, and under the Arms Act. Now all we are waiting for are communiques from Dawood Ibrahim and Osama bin Laden. Then we can embrace the soil of Pakistan and Afghanistan, too.
If you remember, barely three years ago, we had said that we believe that God is there in every cell of our body, your body, every cell of this world. Some kind of power, that is how we thought of God. We had said that that God was good enough for us; that we didn't need "Gods trapped in mausoleums, temples, churches, mosques"; that we didn't need such "Gods who can be imprisoned." Now we know: we never did have a clue about God. God is He who's trapped in the Ka'ba. Now we are wiser: we need gods who can be imprisoned. And why just gods? A fact of life is, all feminists need to be imprisoned.
The immediate reason for our accepting Islam seems to baffle others, we do not know why: We were travelling in a car from Malabar Hill to Kandivili. We started the journey along the highway at 6.45 am. We looked at the rising sun. Surprisingly, it had the colour of a setting sun. It travelled with us and at 7.00 am, it turned white. For years we have been looking for signs telling us when to convert. Finally, we got the message: People squat. Besides, we are against the Hindu way of cremating the dead; we do not want our body to be burnt. We would prefer to rot and be gnawed away by maggots.
Hindus have abused and hurt us. They (they!) have often tried to scandalise us (us!). We cannot repose faith in Hinduism because Hindu gods never forgive. They only punish. Our feeling is that Islam is a religion of love, the religion of forgiveness. Allah is the fountainhead of love and compassion. We will write about that. We will write poems with illustrations from the Quran and the Hadeeth, the holy books containing the religious, social, civil, commercial, military, and legal codes for Muslims:
* Fighting is obligatory for you, much as you may dislike it. But you may hate a thing although it is good for you, and love a thing although it is bad for you. God knows, but you do not. (Surah 2:216)
* Let believers not make friends with infidels in preference to the faithful -- he that does this has nothing to hope for from God -- except in self-defence. (Surah 3:28)
* He will put terror into the hearts of the unbelievers. They serve other deities besides God for whom He has revealed no sanction. The Fire shall be their home; dismal indeed is the dwelling of the evil-doers. (Surah 3:151)
* Those that deny our revelations, We will burn in fire. No sooner will their skins be consumed than We shall give them other skins, so that they may truly taste the scourge. God is mighty and wise. (Surah 4:56)
* Then, when the sacred months have passed, slay the idolaters wherever ye find them, and take them [captive], and besiege them, and prepare for them each ambush. But if they repent and establish worship and pay the poor-due, then leave their way free. Lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. (at-Taubah 9:5.10)
* Fight those who believe not in God nor the last day... nor acknowledge the religion of truth, and fight people of the book, until they pay Jizya with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued. (Surah 9:29)
On second thoughts, we would not like to comment on controversial subjects. We have no interest in making a speech about the Shariat. Let others take care of it. We are concerned only about the good things Islam can offer to us and to the world at large. Like Omar Bakri Muhammad: "Using any biological weapons in self-defence is, in Islam, permissible, and I believe that we are currently operating under a defensive jihad... Obviously we regret what happens to people but there are always people who are war casualties." Or Uganda's Idi Amin, who slaughtered 300,000 of his people, mostly Christians, after he embraced Islam. Or Nawabzada Nabiullah Khan, the ideologue for Jamaat-i-Islami: "More science and technology is bad for civilisation. I had completed civil engineering, hence I am privy to scientific knowledge. I can tell you how corrupting that is. It even makes you question the glorious Quran. There are many Hadeeths which say that the earth is flat. But any science will tell you the earth is a sphere. But you can use the same science like relativity theory to prove that the earth is flat." Or even Abul Kalam Azad, who forced Tagore's Shantiniketan to delete "Satyam Shivam Sundaram" from its letter-head by threatening to stop governmental subsidies when he was education minister.
On second thoughts, we'll avoid this, as well. For, of course, we did not study much about Islam. We only thought about it a lot; we have been nurturing the idea in our mind for the last 27 years. We have been lonely all through our life. At nights, we used to sleep by embracing a pillow. We kept our desire a secret for long. We embraced it now, when we strongly felt the need for love and protection. NOT BY A YOUNG MUSIM LEAGUE LEADER! You have a filthy mind!
In any case, we do not bother about the reactions from people like you. Our secularist community has expressed happiness at our exercising our freedom. You know, secularists are good people: they fully support conversion from Hinduism. The only time they lose their cool is when fundamentalists begin reconversion drives. If you remember, in March, Congressman Sultan Ahmed, CPI-M's Robin Dey and nominated member Rosemary Gellian Hart raised the matter of the VHP's paraavartan yagna in the West Bengal assembly and condemned the extremists for their vile deed and demanded that the VHP be banned. Such is their mettle.
On the whole, the response has been very elating. At this stage of life, how else could we have collected so much goodwill and publicity? We profited from our Prophet. The only jarring note came from Bharatiya Vichara Kendram director, and thinker, P Parameswaran: "May the Lord save Islam."

1 comment:

President Ahmedinajad said...


READ THE FOLLOWING PASSAGES FROM THE BIBLE AS IT HAS IMPLICATIONS ON THE WAR AGAINST TERROR/ISLAM and the claim of Israel that god gave them the land. If the child is an infant than the Judeo-Christian version becomes null and void and we are wasting our time and resources i.e. we could save trillions of dollars and create a more peaceful world rather than fighting against Islam the religion of Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad (peace be upon them all).


Please note this is not a competition between faiths but an attempt to decipher fact from fiction.

Genesis 21:14 Contemporary English version se below link;&version=46;

Early the next morning Abraham gave Hagar an animal skin full of water and some bread. Then he put the boy on her shoulder and sent them away.

And Hagar bore Abram a son; and Abram called the name of his son, whom Hagar bore, Ish’mael. Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore Ish’mael to Abram.

Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him.

At Genesis 22 Abraham had only 2 sons others came later. The Quran mentions that it was Ishmael that was sacrificed hence the reference in genesis 22:2 your only son can only mean someone has substituted Ishmael names for Isaac!!

NOT ROMAN NUMERALS (I, II, III,IV,V,VI,VII,VIII,IX,X) NB no concept of zero in roman numerals.

100 years old – 86 years old = 14 ADD 3 YEARS FOR ISSAC’S WEANING


Carefully read several times the above passage and then tell me the mental picture you get between the mother child interactions what is the age of the child. If the mental picture is that of a 17 year old child being carried on the shoulder of his mother, being physically placed in the bush, crying like a baby, mother having to give him water to drink, than the Islamic viewpoint is null and void. Why is there no verbal communications between mother and (17 YEAR OLD) child?

GENESIS: 21:14 - 21
So Abraham rose early in the morning, and took bread and a skin of water, and gave it to Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, along with the (17 YEAR OLD) child, and sent her away. And she departed, and wandered in the wilderness of Beer-Sheba. When the water in the skin was gone, she cast the (17 YEAR OLD) child under one of the bushes. Then she went, and sat down over against him a good way off, about the distance of a bowshot; for she said, “Let me not look upon the death of the (17 YEAR OLD) child.” And as she sat over against him, the (17 YEAR OLD) child lifted up his voice and wept. And God heard the voice of the (17 YEAR OLD) lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven, and said to her, “What troubles you, Hagar? Fear not; for God has heard the voice of the (17 YEAR OLD) lad where he is. Arise, lift up the (17 YEAR OLD) lad, and hold him fast with your hand; for I will make him a great nation.” Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the skin with water, and gave the (17 YEAR OLD) lad a drink. And God was with the (17 YEAR OLD) lad, and he grew up; he lived in the wilderness, and became an expert with the bow. He lived in the wilderness of Paran; and his mother took a wife for him from the land of Egypt.

The age of Ishmael at this stage is crucial to the Abrahamic faiths. If he is 17 than the JUDEO/CHRISTIAN point of view about the Abrahamic covenant is correct. This has devastating theological consequences of unimaginable proportions.

This makes the conflict between Ishmael and Isaac and there descendants a work of fiction. I would strongly suggest it is clear cut case of racial discrimination and nothing to do with god almighty. The scribes have deliberately tried to make Isaac the only son and legitimate heir to the throne of Abraham??

Please can you rationally explain this anomaly?

I have asked many persons including my nephews and nieces - unbiased minds with no religious backgrounds but with reasonable command of the English language about this passage and they all agree that the child in the passage is an infant.

For background info on the future religion of mankind see the following websites:




HOLY QURAN CHAPTER 37 verses 101 - 122

101. So We gave him the good news of a boy ready to suffer and forbear.

102. Then, when (the son) reached (the age of) (serious) work with him, he said: "O my son! I see in vision that I offer thee in sacrifice: Now see what is thy view!" (The son) said: "O my father! Do as thou art commanded: thou will find me, if Allah so wills one practising Patience and Constancy!"

103. So when they had both submitted their wills (to Allah., and he had laid him prostrate on his forehead (for sacrifice),

104. We called out to him "O Abraham!

105. "Thou hast already fulfilled the vision!" - thus indeed do We reward those who do right.

106. For this was obviously a trial-

107. And We ransomed him with a momentous sacrifice:

108. And We left (this blessing) for him among generations (to come) in later times:

109. "Peace and salutation to Abraham!"

110. Thus indeed do We reward those who do right.

111. For he was one of our believing Servants.

112. And We gave him the good news of Isaac - a prophet,- one of the Righteous.

113. We blessed him and Isaac: but of their progeny are (some) that do right, and (some) that obviously do wrong, to their own souls.

114. Again (of old) We bestowed Our favour on Moses and Aaron,

115. And We delivered them and their people from (their) Great Calamity;

116. And We helped them, so they overcame (their troubles);

117. And We gave them the Book which helps to make things clear;

118. And We guided them to the Straight Way.

119. And We left (this blessing) for them among generations (to come) in later times:

120. "Peace and salutation to Moses and Aaron!"

121. Thus indeed do We reward those who do right.

122. For they were two of our believing Servants.


Therefore the claim that god gave the land to Israel is destroyed without the need of any WMD’s.


Volume 4, Book 55, Number 583:
Narrated Ibn Abbas:
The first lady to use a girdle was the mother of Ishmael. She used a girdle so that she might hide her tracks from Sarah. Abraham brought her and her son Ishmael while she was suckling him, to a place near the Ka'ba under a tree on the spot of Zam-zam, at the highest place in the mosque. During those days there was nobody in Mecca, nor was there any water So he made them sit over there and placed near them a leather bag containing some dates, and a small water-skin containing some water, and set out homeward. Ishmael's mother followed him saying, "O Abraham! Where are you going, leaving us in this valley where there is no person whose company we may enjoy, nor is there anything (to enjoy)?" She repeated that to him many times, but he did not look back at her Then she asked him, "Has Allah ordered you to do so?" He said, "Yes." She said, "Then He will not neglect us," and returned while Abraham proceeded onwards, and on reaching the Thaniya where they could not see him, he faced the Ka'ba, and raising both hands, invoked Allah saying the following prayers:
'O our Lord! I have made some of my offspring dwell in a valley without cultivation, by Your Sacred House (Kaba at Mecca) in order, O our Lord, that they may offer prayer perfectly. So fill some hearts among men with love towards them, and (O Allah) provide them with fruits, so that they may give thanks.' (14.37) Ishmael's mother went on suckling Ishmael and drinking from the water (she had).
When the water in the water-skin had all been used up, she became thirsty and her child also became thirsty. She started looking at him (i.e. Ishmael) tossing in agony; She left him, for she could not endure looking at him, and found that the mountain of Safa was the nearest mountain to her on that land. She stood on it and started looking at the valley keenly so that she might see somebody, but she could not see anybody. Then she descended from Safa and when she reached the valley, she tucked up her robe and ran in the valley like a person in distress and trouble, till she crossed the valley and reached the Marwa mountain where she stood and started looking, expecting to see somebody, but she could not see anybody. She repeated that (running between Safa and Marwa) seven times."
The Prophet said, "This is the source of the tradition of the walking of people between them (i.e. Safa and Marwa). When she reached the Marwa (for the last time) she heard a voice and she asked herself to be quiet and listened attentively. She heard the voice again and said, 'O, (whoever you may be)! You have made me hear your voice; have you got something to help me?" And behold! She saw an angel at the place of Zam-zam, digging the earth with his heel (or his wing), till water flowed from that place. She started to make something like a basin around it, using her hand in this way, and started filling her water-skin with water with her hands, and the water was flowing out after she had scooped some of it."
The Prophet added, "May Allah bestow Mercy on Ishmael's mother! Had she let the Zam-zam (flow without trying to control it) (or had she not scooped from that water) (to fill her water-skin), Zam-zam would have been a stream flowing on the surface of the earth." The Prophet further added, "Then she drank (water) and suckled her child. The angel said to her, 'Don't be afraid of being neglected, for this is the House of Allah which will be built by this boy and his father, and Allah never neglects His people.' The House (i.e. Kaba) at that time was on a high place resembling a hillock, and when torrents came, they flowed to its right and left. She lived in that way till some people from the tribe of Jurhum or a family from Jurhum passed by her and her child, as they (i.e. the Jurhum people) were coming through the way of Kada'. They landed in the lower part of Mecca where they saw a bird that had the habit of flying around water and not leaving it. They said, 'This bird must be flying around water, though we know that there is no water in this valley.' They sent one or two messengers who discovered the source of water, and returned to inform them of the water. So, they all came (towards the water)." The Prophet added, "Ishmael's mother was sitting near the water. They asked her, 'Do you allow us to stay with you?" She replied, 'Yes, but you will have no right to possess the water.' They agreed to that." The Prophet further said, "Ishmael's mother was pleased with the whole situation as she used to love to enjoy the company of the people. So, they settled there, and later on they sent for their families who came and settled with them so that some families became permanent residents there. The child (i.e. Ishmael) grew up and learnt Arabic from them and (his virtues) caused them to love and admire him as he grew up, and when he reached the age of puberty they made him marry a woman from amongst them.